Jamie Danford

I might be becoming my mother... and it's not a bad thing!

After Lizzy's move to college (ROLL TIDE) back in August, I found myself alone in the house I grew up in... the house that my Mom called home for the last 35 years of her life before moving into an Alzheimer's care home. And although I pretty much totally overhauled the place, there isn't a day that goes by without something reminding me that this is Mom's house. 

This was her happy place, and her yard was her pride and joy. God bless her, she couldn't make a decision about wallpaper in the Powder Room, but she damn sure knew how to root Azaleas, Camelias, and Oleanders in the big sand box up in the woods.  She always had a project going, and on any given day, you'd find her pulling up the crab trap at the end of her dock, or declaring war on the Dollar Weeds in the front yard, or (my favorite) tending a raging fire in the burn pile at the front of the property, water hose in one hand, pitchfork in the other... very similar to this...

More than once since she's been home, my child has said, "Oh my god, Mom, you're turning into MeMe!"

And I think she's right. 

Okay, so I'm like the half-assed, artsy, bird-brained, no-math-doing version, but still... I think she's on to something. 

I really like flannel, Mom-jeans, and slip-on sneakers.  The smooth feel of a pitchfork handle against my palm makes me feel like Triton, or Arya Stark... or at least one of the dudes from HeeHaw... either way, there's power in that handle, I tell ya. 

So Mom's burn pile is kind of a big deal, and I've been putting it off for two years because I just didn't feel qualified to follow in her footsteps. Her size 7 Keds are HUGE shoes to fill.  But today seemed like the day. The pile beckoned, and just like Louis Creed in King's Pet Semetary, I found myself gathering supplies (matches, paper towels, pitchfork, snippy cup of water... Mom always had sweet tea, and a water hose) and following the call of the pile.

I was fearful that it was too big, too wild, too moist... I worried that snakes may have made it their nest (nope, just a big ol' long tailed mouse that nearly made me piss myself)... I worried that it might get out of hand (two years worth of debris!) and I worried that the Savannah Fire Department might come charging up the driveway. But no, nothing bad happened. In fact, I felt like I spent three hours with my Mom.  

So many things struck me as similar, even as I took a quick break and walked to the mailbox ... totally something she would've done. I guess there were only two major differences:

1) Mom would've been reading the newspaper while keeping an eye on the fire. I trolled Facebook, Instagram, and took selfies instead...

(I'm sorry, but if you give me a hose with a squirter attached, there WILL be lude texts sent to certain people. I CANNOT resist.) 

And this...

2) Dammit Jet-Puffed, I couldn't help myself!

Other than those two differences (and one more than likely only being because Mom didn't have a smartphone), I'd say I channeled Judy pretty well today.

My hair smells like burnt leaves, I PROBABLY have a tick in my butt crack, and I keep blowing black stuff out of my nose.

Ah, the glamorous life of a Dhuland debutante!

❤ ya Mom!  

  

 

 

Time to get 'er DONE! Adventures in PRESSURE WASHING

Okay, so it's been like maybe a YEAR since I've posted on my poor neglected bloggy, but really... you do NOT want to hear my list of excuses. So let's just let bygones be bygones, and go ahead with a fresh new post for 2017, shall we? 

Now that that's been handled, I figure I'll just jump right in and talk about the most EXCITING thing in my life (at least for today.) This little beauty...

https://www.lowes.com/pd/Greenworks-2-000-PSI-1-2-GPM-Cold-Water-Electric-Pressure-Washer/50353386

 

Ladies, got some Christmas cash burning a hole in your pocket? Then hightail it over to Lowes and grab this electric pressure washer... you will love me forever! (And no, it's not because it's the adult version of the handheld shower head that we all knew and loved when we were teenagers, eh hem... don't even go there.  This will HURT you.)

Men, you're encouraged to get one too... and if the shower head reference applies to you, well then kudos to ya, bro. 

I am declaring this the best self Christmas/New Years/early Valentines present EVER because in about an hour, my poor-dingy-gross-moldy fire pit and stones became brand spanking new again!

From skanky grunge pit, to HELLO BEAUTIFUL...

Ah, my beloved Tennessee Sunset flagstone, I've missed you!

And the best part? No male-ness needed! (Not that menfolk aren't welcome, but it sure is nice when we don't have to ask them to add another item to their "honey do" list, isn't it?) I always depended on the hub to take care of stuff like this because I couldn't pull the DAMN starter cord thingy, but this little fella is electric, easy to assemble, lightweight, and not scary at all. 

Okay, well  maybe this was a little scary...

Grrrr... not quite sure why there are leftover parts. Um, lets plug it in and a see if anything blows up?  

I did not blow up. Thankfully. Who would feed the cats????

Next up, the grungy fence by my kitchen window, then the brick floor on the porch, and the stone walkway off the patio... the hunt for funk continues... right after I enjoy a glass of merlot by the fire pit! 

 

Dhu with a View: An Adventure in Remodeling (The Living Room)

I don't know... is it a living room?  A great room?  A family room?  My family called it the den. Needless to say, the main room in the middle of my house is having a bit of an identity crisis.  I think I say the words living room more than anything, but every once in a while, the word den pops out.  For the purposes of this blog, and NOT losing my mind about it, I'll call it the LIVING ROOM.  There. Done.  The official proclamation has been... well, proclaimed.

SO just in case you've stumbled onto this here little bloggy, and are not one of my beloved Facebook friends, let me do a quick update... approximately six months ago, I decided to move into my childhood home.  However, I had three basic non-negotiables that had to be taken care of before moving in.

 1.) The popcorn ceilings had to go bye bye.

2.) The carpet (otherwise known as my mom's cats' litter box) had to go wherever toxic, fecal ridden, rolls of cat diapers go to die.  

3.) Paint, paint, paint.  

Three fairly simple things... that turned into a nearly complete gut of the house, and FIVE months of renovation.  Oops.  I might've gotten a teensy bit carried away.  

The three major areas of improvement were the kitchen, the master bathroom, and of course the living room, which is where I will begin...

My parents built our home in 1978, the year I turned six, and I'm pretty sure my Dad's absolute pride and joy (besides Kentucky basketball... "Go Big Blue," his fishing retreat on Clark Hill lake, and of course his stunningly beautiful family) was his Fisher wood burning stove along with its brick hearth.  He laid the bricks himself...

Look, it's me! (Rockin' that Dorothy Hamill haircut, thank you.)

Love this man

This red brick behemoth was the centerpiece of our family gatherings, witnessing nearly forty Christmas Eve parties, numerous slumber parties and loads of posed photo moments.   "Hey, let's get a photo of the family... everybody go stand by the hearth!"  

So, you can imagine my inner struggle when it came to redesigning this room.  I have an entire life of memories built around this work of masonry and iron.  Not to mention, this was probably the last photo of my family all together, because my Dad died five months after it was taken, which adds to the sentimental attachment we all have to our beloved hearth.  

In the end, though, I decided to remove Dad's stove (it's now on the back porch waiting to be re-purposed) and my contractors built around the brick hearth (yep, it's still back there, just completely hidden, but still serving as the heart of this home.)  

So see? I'm not such a TOTAL heartless bitch, right?  Maybe?  Man, it really was a gut wrenching decision.

Throughout the years, Mom made cosmetic changes to the room formerly known as the den, including busting out a big wall and opening it to the hallway to give it more of an open concept feel (way back in the early '90's.) At one point, the wall of windows that looks out onto Houston Creek was hampered by grids, mini-blinds and dark curtains, and the floors were a delicious shade of good ol' 1970's 'rust.'

Don't knock the footie pajamas... I'd be wearing them RIGHT now if I didn't think I'd look like Big Bird in desperate need of a fresh round of Botox.

  My goals for the room were to make it (along with the rest of the house) very zen and relaxing.   I envisioned a squishy sectional, a warm functional fireplace with a traditional mantle, and built-in cabinets.  I love texture, so it was natural to fall in love with a split-face brick tile in soft hues.   The carpet, which had run through its rust phase and evolved to a cream that threatened to get dingy every time a shoe tread upon it, was replaced with beautiful bamboo flooring.  I chose Antique Strand bamboo for its hardiness (it's tough, and I have pets), and its beautiful variegation of colors. Culver Rug installed it, and I couldn't be happier.  They knocked it out the park, and it was one of the ONLY things that actually came in under budget! (Brian Culver was my contact, and he's wonderful.)

I guess I can't talk about the living room without mentioning the fact that we knocked out some walls in the adjoining 'lounge/piano room' and dining room, in my quest for more openness.  My Mom always wanted to do this so we could have the water views from the front of the house, but it just never got done... until now!  

So are you ready to see?  Prepare for an avalanche of photos...

Here's the original room that I started with...

Before: Hearth and stove, popcorn ceilings, cream carpet, bare windows, dark hallway

 

 

After: Beautiful bamboo floors, split-face brick tile, travertine hearth, custom built-in's, smooth ceilings, fresh curtains, bright opening to lounge across the hall.

Before: Walls on either side of the foyer, carpet, popcorn ceiling.

Walls gone, next up: Casement doors!

Feeling HUGE!

Open and airy... there's so much light.

 I have SO many favorite things about this room!  From the absolutely GORGEOUS Gabby Home reclaimed wood cocktail table from Whelan's Furniture, to the cabinets, and clean simple mantle built by my General Contractor, Leigh Smith of LMS Construction...

The hearth is a solid slab of travertine from Counter Fitters.  I'm not normally a fan of this particular stone (limestone), but found myself attracted to the underside of the surface.  So my AWESOME salesperson, Jenny, told the guys to cut it upside down, and voila!  I absolutely adore its rough, irregular surface.  (More texture!)

And this little cutie makes me happy...

Who doesn't love a nook, right?

This bodacious chest from Nadeau told me it had to come home with me!

This room fills me with such joy and pure relaxation... I absolutely LOVE it, and I know my Mom and Dad would too.  Lizzy and I will always fill it with love and family and friendship, just like it was meant to be.  

Up next?  The Master Bath... 

Uh oh, she's talking about the weather...

Things must be a real snooze around the DHU if I'm talking about the weather!  But I'm gonna tell ya, it's been so absolutely beautiful outside this past week, I just can't help myself.

In Savannah, we joke that we only have two seasons, hot and cold.   So this is about as close to Fall as we're gonna get, and I am LOVING it.  

The top's off the Jeep...

The skies are the most amazing Tarheel blue...

The pup is comfy with her teddy bear hair cut...

And I get to wear my dorky headbands when I'm running!

Yep, the weather is positively delicious.  Enjoy!

So much more than a yard...

(Forgive me if I sound maudlin.)

Sitting in my plastic Adirondack, flip-flop clad feet propped up, a Dickie's cup in hand (my version of fine crystal) I survey my surroundings...

It's my backyard... my happy place.  Sure, it's got a killer view, but it's SO much more than just a yard... it's a lifetime of memories.

See that hill over there?  

My friends and I dared each other to ride our bikes down it when we were kids... maybe 9 years old?  Flying over grass and roots... not stopping until we hit the base of the dock.  Over and over again.  

That low hanging oak branch over there?

Jamey, Tate and I built a tree fort on it... we dragged boards from my Dad's workshop into the mud, using empty paint cans as steps, balancing and nailing our 'fort' to the tree.  We got in SO much trouble for that!  My parents were so pissed that we made such a mess.  But that tree fort was OURS... scavenged and pieced together by us, not some pre-fab stuff bought at Home Depot (which, I will add, is what my kid had, but times are different some how right?)  That's how we rolled in the 80's , haha.

See that low palm by the dock?

It's hardly grown, in 36 years.  While playing Indians, I'd strip the 'hairs' off of its fronds and pretend I was sewing. We would gather wisteria pods, oyster shells, and Buckeyes to make 'stew.'   Always outside playing some sort of imaginary game.

That old dock... it used to have a floating dock attached.  I'll never forget the day our black lab Buffy decided to take a flying leap in pursuit of some leftover shrimp peelings my Mom had dumped.  Buffy got stuck in the plough mud and started yelping. I was terrified she was going to drown in the muck, so I started hollering. Mom yelled for Dad, who was in the shower, and next thing I knew, here came Dad, fresh from the shower, running down the bluff barefoot, plucking Buffy out of the mud, the both of them then covered in it.  I couldn't have been more than about seven years old, but I remember it like it was yesterday!

There are so many stories in this yard... so many memories.  The oak by the firepit where we found the baby raccoons (Roscoe and Pee-Rod),  racing Periwinkle snails, finding the occasional piece of blue and white china left over from the old plantation that was here long before us... It's all a part of who I am.. where I want to be, and what I will remember for the rest of my life.

You see?

It truly is, so much more than just a yard.

 

 

My New Dhu... Decisions, Decisions, and MORE Decisions

If you're my Facebook friend, then you've probably been following the progress of my EPIC home renovation.  I'll have plenty of before and after pics of the house when it's finished (maybe 3 more weeks?)

I figure I'll start posting the progress on my bloggy, so if you haven't been privy to the pics, prepare yourself... it's a doozy.  

I basically took my childhood home, emptied it, stripped it down to the studs and slab, and am currently in the process of putting it all back together with the help of my uber-awesome, and extremely patient general contractor, Wright Smith (who I've learned goes by 'Moose'... but also has some self-professed Shrek-like similarities, hahahhaaaa.)

I think we started demo sometime around the end of July, and now here we are 9 weeks later, and it's all coming together.  What started as three 'non-negotiables': painting the walls, removing the popcorn ceilings, and replacing the flooring, has turned into an avalanche of reno work.  

It sorta goes like this:  I have a friend... a very hairy male.  One day he decided he was going to shave his... um, man parts. So he did.  However, when he appraised himself in the mirror, he realized that he looked like an idiot because that was the only bald area on his entire body.  So he shaved his stomach... which then led to his chest... shoulders and arms.  Of course, then he looked like he was wearing black furry long johns, so off came the leg hair. Three hours later, he was totally bald.  Head to toe.  A naked mole rat.

Well, this is a metaphor for my house renovation.  What started as three non-negotiables, has turned into a sequel to "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."   Indeed, if you decide to do new flooring, you may as well get new cabinets (because the flooring you like doesn't go with the existing ones)... and if you get new cabinets, you may as well replace that old Corian with some BADASS Silestone Quartz, right?  Which means, you better go ahead and replace that 45" cooktop with a 36" one so that you don't have to deal with the dilemma of finding one to fit when that one breaks... and hell, if you're doing the cooktop, you may as well get a new sink because after all, who wants a grimy old sink next to a shiny new cooktop? 

And then there's doorknobs, hinges, ceiling fans, recessed lights, tile, tile, and MORE tile.  

Here's a peeky at what happened today...

Laundry room and kitchen floors now have grout

Lizzy's bathroom floor is down. I went with el cheapo 12x12 tiles to save $$.           I think laying them on the diagonal makes them look cool though!

Onyx stone for the master shower floor, but what's up with that one dark square??? I've already texted my GC to ask for a fix.

Replacement windows... can't have a jam up house with fogged windows, right?

Master closet doors... framed and waiting.

Closet by Home Depot, Martha Stewart. Yeah, I've got a shoe problem.

The decision process seems endless... and it's SO much fun!  I love having this blank slate to make into my dream home.  And of course the best part about it all is that it's the home my dad built, the one in which my parents planned to spend the rest of their lives together.  Goodness knows life certainly threw them some curve balls, but knowing that I will live in, and love this home forever makes this process so special.   

Tomorrow's agenda includes:

~Cabinet installation

~Final lighting decisions 

~More grout

Pics to come!

 

 

 

 

 

Who's ready for a 'Reset?"

ME! ME! ME!

It's no secret that I love me some Beachbody products... remember when we did Insanity?  Oh that Shaun T... what a presh.  Well, I've rekindled my love affair with their products, and have had a lot of success dropping some extra lbs following their 21 Day Fix plan (mostly the nutrition part, less of the actual workouts because I prefer a good walk.)  

I'm eleven pounds lighter than I was in July, which is a good thing, because my size 10's were trying to convince me that their cousin, size 12 was my new best friend.  Uh, NO.  Who the heck wants to go buy new clothes in a BIGGER size??? Not this chicka.

So after 2 rounds of 21 Day Fix, and a fun weekend cleanse (3 Day Refresh, also from Beachbody) I'm looking to up my game.  The 3 Day Refresh kinda showed me that I could definitely do without all the crapola I've been putting in my body.  You know, my faves... Diet Coke, processed foods... booze.  Sigh. It was an eye opening (albeit barren) weekend, and it convinced me to try my newest adventure, the Ultimate Reset... a 21 day attempt to Reclaim, Release & Restore my pollutant-ridden system.  

So, I did my homework...

...and started it yesterday.  So on day two, this is what I can tell you...

It's definitely more 'involved' than the three day cleanse... lots of supplements (6 to be exact)...

...added to a dose of good ol' fashioned healthy cooking (great recipes included), and a guiding voice that encourages you to answer some pretty honest (and possibly awkward) questions...

 

So far I haven't starved to death, although I thought I saw the grim reaper while guzzling this green stuff...

 

Dear JESUS.

I now have a whole new respect for cattle, because I'm prrrrrretty sure this is liquid cud.  (Organic alfalfa, barley grass, kamut grass, and wheat grass to be more specific.)  Just once a day though... 21 times.  I've got this.  Yum, cud.

So, I'll report back to you with the good, the bad and the ugly... damn I hope there isn't too much ugly.  Okay... Ready, set, reset!

 

 

Well hello there...

Remember me?

I know.  It's been like, FOREVER.

And honestly, I didn't know if I'd ever feel like blogging again.  My silly little life got all twisty and weird a few months ago.  Winter was tough, and Spring and Summer were all about me trying to find my way into a new 'normal.'  

So, I wasn't quite ready to spill all the sordid details on here, and I was sort of so busy trying to swim to the surface, I really didn't think about blogging... at all. But let's just say this... there've been some changes in Dhuland.  I'm happy, my family is healthy, and I'm excited about this new path I'm wandering.  Life is good.  (Ambiguous enough for you?)  

I'm still at UltraTan making an honest paycheck by wiping copious amounts of ass sweat.  In fact, I'm working full time... which means my house is in shambles, my yard is an embarrassment, and my Dhuland garden may as well have a family of trolls living in it.  HOW the HECK do these full timers do it????  I'm clearly a wuss.

Lizzy's a SENIOR at SVA, and loving it.  Her boyfriend left for college (NINE hours away) so one never knows when there might be a spontaneous crying fit, but overall I'd say she's handling it well.

And we may or may not have added yet ANOTHER cat to our household.  His name is Gilbert French Fry Ghetto Porch, and he is FAbuLOUS... pics to come.

I'm back on a fitness kick again (yes, there will be before/after selfies, much to everyone's horror.)  There is a 21 day 'reset' in my very near future (uh, like tomorrow) so I may be a cranky starved lunatic... stay tuned.

And to top it all off, I'm in the middle of a HUGE house renovation... to include busting out walls, installing new everything, and blowing my budget by a lot (which I hear is actually to be expected.  Eh hem... right?)

But for now, I'm yawning... so it's night night for me. Hope everyone's enjoying the 'Super moon/ Blood moon/ Lunar eclipse!} 

 

 

Lizzy's First Prom~

I know I've already splashed the pics of Lizzy's junior prom all over Facebook, but I need to get them on the ol' blogeroo for posterity's sake.  So let me tell you a little back story about how this here prom came to pass.

Of course, if you've been following along, you know that Lizzy had to withdraw from SVA because she missed too many days when she had the perfect storm of Flu, Strep, and Mono.  The school handled the situation with kindness and mercy, allowing my girl to still participate in the traditional ring ceremony and Senior jerseys (which they get as Juniors and have to wear backwards until next year... so cute!)  However, since they didn't say anything about prom, we assumed she wasn't allowed to attend, which really wasn't that big of a deal because she knew she was going to Matt's senior prom at BC.  

But then we got a letter with the details about the event, and we were like, "REALLY???"  So I hopped on the phone, and sure enough, my girl was invited to attend.  Awesome!! Except, we only had TEN days until the dance, Matt had a lacrosse game scheduled for that afternoon, and I'd already spent a FORTUNE on the dress for BC's prom. EEEEEK! 

No worries, though... my kiddo is a shopping queen (as you can well imagine) and pretty much everything she EVER tries on fits her perfect size 2 frame without even needing alterations (yes... I hate her too.)  Oh... and of course Big Dave told her to spend whatever she needed to get the perfect dress.  (Mental head slap.)  Luckily, she was in a thrifty mood and didn't go crazy with Daddy's debit card.

I think she did pretty good for winging it...

Lisa, of Lisa Hahn Photography captured some beautiful shots of Matt and Lizzy, which is pretty darned impressive seeing as how he was NOT a happy eighteen year old male.  Apparently being coerced into a prom photoshoot is not exactly 'cool'.  Haha... just goes to show what a good sport he is, and how much he loves my girl.  :)

So here goes...

 

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the carousel pics!  Lisa's a genius. 

The dance itself was pretty fun, and the kids made the most out of it.  Props help too...

So, I'd say prom numero uno was a complete success, and I've got the pics to prove it.  Now we're gearing up for round 2 on April 25th... no photographer this time, so Matty Poo can breathe a big sigh of relief.  haha!

Love these kids!

 

Working Women...

Armageddon may be imminent.  

Or possibly, some Nobel prize worthy scientist has figured out how to surgically attach wings to pigs.

Because, lo and behold... both Danford girls have JOBS. 

Yes, I repeat... Both Lizzy and I are now esteemed members of the workforce.  And we even have the paychecks to prove it!

I'm so proud of my little chicky for workin' her buns off at B&D Burgers.  She's such a cute hostess!  Not only is she pushing herself out of her very shy comfort zone, but she's makin' bank in the process.  Heck, she's making more than me!  (And working double the hours.)  

Needless to say, I think her bikini collection is going to be even bigger than last years... $$$$~