The plight of cellulite...

Okay, here's something to ponder...because you have nothing better to do than ponder right? Oh, wait...no, that's ME.

So, ponder this...I was getting out of my car at the mall yesterday, and this very attractive lady got out of the car next to me.  First thing I noticed was her FABULOUS shoes...you know, the super high heels with the pointy toes and a delicious print on them...the kind I will probably NEVER wear, simply because I could never pull it off.  So, she gets out of her car, swings her way too expensive bag over her shoulder and sets out in front of me as I schlep across the pavement in my three year old black Reef flip flops (which I am absolutely in love with and would like to take a moment to request that I be buried in.)

Well, as I'm schlepping behind Miss Vogue, I couldn't help but notice this...

ya know what this is? Well, this is what her butt looked like in the high-dollar slinky slacks she was wearing. Damn...all that style, and a butt that looks like something Tiger Woods would smack down a fairway. 

So, here's my quandary...I felt sorry for this chicky who thought she was all that and a bag of chips because nobody told her that her butt cheddar was dimpling through her pants. Shouldn't somebody say something?  I would definitely want Big Dave or Kristine to give me the 411 if this was happening.  I mean sure, I know, I've got it...cellulite...ick, and I can't hide it when I'm wearing a bathing suit, but dang it, I sure as heck want to try to hide it all the rest of the time, don't you? 

I guess what I'm saying is that I almost wish I'd left an anonymous note on her car saying something like:

Hi, I hope this doesn't ruin your day, but those pants you're wearing are showing a bit too much of your junk in da trunk. You might want to run over to the Target and grab a pair of khakis.  Hugs, ~an anonymous friend.

Whaddya think?  Would that have been inappropriate? I think we should all band together and come to an agreement that we chickies need to look out for one another.  Just say no to golf ball butts!! (or at least to them showing through our pants.) 

Okay, well that was pretty much a waste of 78 seconds of your life wasn't it? Sorry, I'll try to be more profound tomorrow.  :) 

Comments

[Patty Spell]

Jamie...please, please let me know!! You crack me up...

[Teeny]

Ok, well Jamie...you wanted me to tell you...so here it goes.... YOU DON'T HAVE GOLF BALL BUTT!!n (That's in clothes tho. I haven't seen your butt naked (thank God!)).

[lynn whelan]

Morgie and I were just discussing the other day my producing (for sale of course) a line of note cards for similar situations to slip under the windshield wiper of cars. You know things about learning to park in the lines and stuff like that. Hmmmmm.....

OK, don't anyone steal my idea now. You know I'm gonna get around doing it (ha!ha!)

[LORI]

NOTE TO SELF: BURY JAMIE WITH HER REEF FLIP FLOPS (IF I OUTLIVE HER).

[jamietg]

Thanks Sis, I knew I could count on you. :)

[Sid]

NOBODY should wear pants so tight you can see the cellulite - even the cute chicks who have no cellulite. It's what we call - street lady wear (or, to be frank - slut hooker stuff).