Jamie Danford

Guess... what.... I... got!

A PAYCHECK!!!!!!!!!!!! 

{Hyperventilate}

A PAYCHECK!!!!!!!!!!!

{Just in case you missed it the first time}

 
Do you KNOW how LONG it's been since I got a paycheck????  YAYYAYAYYAY!

{Sorry... said in my best "Gilly from SNL" voice.}

And you know what? I totally and completely earned my moolah today subbing in the 8th grade at a certain middle school.  I've got to tell you, I cannot believe some of the things these kids do.  See, it was the math teacher's last day today (b/c the kids have broken him and he's transferring to a lower grade) and the kids knew it.  So they decided to send him off in high style... by throwing eggs at him. Yep, they brought raw eggs from home and when the poor fella turned his back, they launched them across the room. Thankfully these yolk missiles only hit the white board, missing his head by inches. 

Well, word of the assault reached my classroom and in his eagerness to show off, one boy showed his friends that he too had an egg in his pocket.  Stupid mistake... as soon as they left my room, I flagged down an administrator and totally ratted the little turkey out.  So what did they do? They put us all on lockdown and searched every student on the wing.  Yep, these folks don't play.  And yes they found a lot more eggs... plus some dried beans and peas (somebody raided grandmama's pantry) as well as a handful of fish oil vitamins and... drumroll please.... a bag of raw shrimp in 'murky juice.'

I know!  What the heck  is 'murky juice?'  It sounds scary as hell if you ask me. And this arsenol was all directed at the poor math teacher... hilarious!

So basically it was a crazy assed day... I'm sure powered by the fact that we had two subs and a full moon.  Good times I tell you.  In fact now that I think about.... I'm not sure sub pay is enough for this.  And for some reason, I actually feel like I am supposed to be there in the middle of it. It's a far cry from whiny, glue stick eating Kindergarteners and for that I am thankful.  Yep, I NEVER said I was normal! ha ha

Cleaning out the brain...

Gee wizzies it's been four days since my last post, and I've got plenty to share... an accumulation of brain matter per se...

First up, since I'm sitting here in front of the boob tube watching American Idol let's discuss... do you still watch it? Do the auditions bore you to tears or are you like myself and make your hubby sit with you and watch every single moment of it?  Doogie Howser's cracking me up tonight.  ha!

Next up, I must tell you how kinda proud I am of myself this week for keeping up with my excercise goals... in fact, my neighbor Mendy (aka foxy mama) came over and dragged me along on a 3.2 mile walk/run on Sunday.  I can't believe it, but I'm pretty sure we jogged almost half of it, yup... about a mile or so on and off.  YAY!  I know you're probably like 'woo... big deal' but I am SO not a runner type chickie.  At least not yet, but there's h0pe in my heart and a TWENTY year high school reunion in my near future so I'm feeling pretty confident.

Plus, Big Dave did a side job this week and decided to get me one of these...

 

Aw shucks... he loves me.  ;)  And by the way, it is kicking my arse, woohoo!

He also got me this book to read when I'm recovering from my workouts...

...which I've dug in to and am loving. 

And lastly before I get off of here and go night night, I've got to tell you how wonderful my week has been subbing a bunch of fourth and fifth graders... it's been fab! It's also really nice to have a full week of work that I'm getting paid for, thank you very much Savannah-Chatham Public Schools.  ;)

ALrighty, off to dreamland, love you guys!

A journaling challenge from Zielske...

Hands down, Cathy Zielske is one of my favorite bloggers. Her words crack me up, and like myself, she's not afraid to say stupid stuff. ;)  So when I clicked on her blog this morning and saw that she had this journaling challenge posted I decided to see what it was all about.  I'd been thinking that I might sneek up to the penthouse for a little solo scrapping this afternoon b/c Miss Priss is spending the night out and Big Dave was on the river with Bubba.  Perfect day for a layout or two... however, I didn't have a project in mind, so as I drove home from the grocery store I was a little concerned about getting up there and losing my motivation.

Well, this lovely little inspiration from CZ did the trick, and now I have a  layout to show for it, along with a story I'd been meaning to put on paper before I forgot it. 

Here she is...

Cute, no? 

Cathy's challenge was to take a story that you had floating around in your head and apply it to a great photo of your kid.  So I decided to use this pic of Miss Priss looking genuinely happy and document how she called her little group of friends a 'happy bubble.'  I figured I better get it on paper quickly, since we all know how middle school can be, and they may hate each other's guts by the end of it, lol.  I REALLY hope not... she's got such a great group of friends... and sure, I call them the nerd herd, but I cherish their relationship.  Girls can be so mean and stupid, so it's nice to have a safe place to go, ya know?  (Kinda like Cheers... minus the beer, slutty bartender and Norm.) 

Weight Watchers update, and kindergarteners from hell... a brutal day indeed.

I know, what a title right? Well it goes like this... I've had a TOUGH day... tougher than tough, and I feel like coming on here and rambling a bit. (It could have something to do with the cold Keystone Light sitting beside me, who knows.)

So first up, let's get to the WW weigh in this morning. After three consecutive days of real live excercise and a week of counting points (didn't even go through all of my weekly extra points) I am up two tenths of a pound. 149. crap.

It's okay, the excercise is gonna kick in this week and I'm feeling a great weigh in next Friday.  Plus I don't have a fish fry this weekend... just sayin'.

Second, I learned a very valuable lesson about myself today... I am NOT, nor will I EVER be, Kindergarten teacher material.  Holy crap folks, twenty minutes after the kids came in I was ready to slit my wrists, put  my head under a truck tire, or gnaw my own foot off.

I know you're like, "whah?  She can't handle those cute little babies?" Um, no.

Apparently I cannot.

Here's a sampling of what I listened to today...

"Mrs. Danford, _____________ peed on the floor in the bathroom."

"Mrs. Danford _____________ just kissed me on the mouth, and she's a girl and I'm a girl and I think I need to go wash my mouth."

"Mrs. Danford can I get a paper towel because I just put glue on my lips."

(I asked her why she put glue on her lips)

"Uh, because my lips are chapped and I thought it'd work like Chapstick."

I swear, can you imagine ME, of all people, in this environment? By 10am I had checked out, running completely on autopilot.  Kinda like child birth... you know when you realize that you have to pretty much endure the pain and agony until the good thing happens?

Yep I just compared subbing in a kindergarten class to childbirth.  I make no apologies.  They are evil. Give me a class of 19 eight graders armed with magic markers, hormones and carrots any day of the week... just NO more five year olds PLEASE. 

Needless to say, I won't be subbing in the K-5 anymore, ha ha!

Okay, thank you for listening to my plight... I'm going to collapse somewhere.

Have a great weekend~

Me... the Wii Fit... and a tongue lashing (so to speak)...

Alrighty, so here I am on this new and improved quest to lose the belly roll I've managed to pack on over the last few months.  So I decided to bust out the Wii Fit that's been sitting dormant for entirely too many moons and give it a go.  Afterall, it's pretty darned aerobic, and an hour of aerobics on the Weight Watchers activity tracker is a lotta points deducted from a day. (Maybe enough to make that Sonic extra long coney dog minus the cheese add mustard and onions not so bad anymore anyway.)

Well I got her all hooked up and found my poor dejected Mii (personalized character for you Wii virgins out there) and lo and behold look what it said...

Well I'll be doggoned... nothing like a heaping helping of electronic guilt to make an old gal feel better eh? Geez, you'd think it would be so happy to see me it wouldn't make a fuss... it's like walking into a Baptist church and getting the ol' "Well looky there, how you doin' stranger?" speal.  (Not that I'd know hee hee.)

So I clicked onto the next screen and got this...

Dammit

And this...

Well crap on a cracker.  It's a sassy little thing isn't it?

I felt like I was back in high school gym class with Coach Hardy... oh I couldn't STAND that man.

Yep, he'd have probably said something like this...

Can't you just hear the smarty pants attitude? UGH!

So I figured I may as well get on with it.  

I jogged like a mad woman...

 
  Did six rounds of aerobics...

... and hula hooped until my thighs, cheeks, and abs were screaming, raw, burning pools of fire...

  There's not enough rum in the world to help me now.  I can feel my muscles stiffening as I write this.  Pray for me... I've got to sub at Georgetown Elementary tomorrow.  Do you think I'll have to squat, bend, or walk?

Uh oh.

;)

Oh thank goodness...

...the cabinets are finished!  YAYAYAYAYAYYAYA!  Can you hear the chorus of angels? Oh yeah, hallelujah!

I took some half-assed photos because after this evening's walk/jog with Big Dave, I'm plum tuckered out... didn't want to lift myself from the chair I'm sitting in. However, you'll get the jist of it...

and here's the other side... too lazy to even take the pans off the stove {sad I tell  you}

By the way, we had spaghetti.

So the colors aren't quite this vivid in real life; the flash makes 'em look a little brighter than they are... and the  knobs are like a shiny pewter, not black, so it's not as stark.  Okay dangit, I should've just waited to take the pics in the daytime, but I'm subbing everyday this week... and next (yay!)

Now that the cabinets are done, the old formica countertops don't look so bad, so we'll keep 'em a while longer, but the floor is going SOON.  As soon as my income tax return comes in... {pant pant pant}

Alright chicken livers, I'm taking my wobbly-legged self over to the couch to enjoy an early evening... middle school starts early, and I'm driving all the way out to Wilmington Island.  (Not complaining AT ALL... just happy as heckers to get a paycheck and some experience.)

Nighty night!

Show and Tell...

Yay!  I scrapped two layouts last night... and I've gotta tell you it was like pulling teeth.  Ugh, where has my mojo gone?  Why do I dread having to get up and rummage through my stash to find the perfect paper?  I have become quite the lazy scrapper as of late. 

However some how or other I got these two done, and I like 'em alot. 

First there's this one documenting the crazy low temps we've  had around here...

You know what I realized? I have hardly any scrapbook supplies that are ice/winter/snow related (gee, I wonder why?)  I found a couple of snowflake embellies, but nothing else that was really worth a toot. So I improvised with some Bobunny birthday stickers (to represent the low degrees) and a kooky piece of American Crafts paper, and some scraps of this and that. I find it fun and 'zesty' ;) 

Then there's this one about our little snugglishousness "Scooter"...

 I found this photo on Miss Priss' camera while I was perusing (snooping) yesterday.  Every once in a while I'll go through it to see if there's anything good, and voila... a treasure! I immediately printed it off, knowing this was a one in a million photo.  LOVE it.

I've been holding onto these papers from Little Yellow Bicycle because I just couldn't figure out how to use them... so the black and white photo was the perfect opportunity to get a layout done with them.  I adore it... it's probably going to hang on a wall around here somewhere. 

So did anybody else scrap this weekend? I'd love to see the fruits of your labor... you can post 'em on Facebook to show 'em off. 

Now, I'm going to start painting cabinets again.  We're doing the other side of the kitchen... more cabinets to paint, but less sanding (thank goodness.. that was the yucky  part.) 

Ready, set, GO!

Weight Watchers and my back fat... a gruesome tale of woe...

Sure you may be like, "Oh good lord, who wants to hear Jamie babble and complain about having to lose weight...NOT me!" 

and I'm like, "Hey, I totally agree... I mean I know there are alot of other pressing matters in the big wide world, and I shouldn't whine about my obsession with two piece bathing suits and girls from Batwatch."

But then there's this...

 

And suddenly all becomes crystal clear.

Do you know what this is? It's a photo of my back fat taken by Kristine's dear son Alex who thought it was disturbing enough to document on film.  Nope, it's not technically a plumber's crack because it's too high and that is NOT my butt... unfortunately it looks like these few extra pounds I'm packing have compressed out of my size 10's and up my back, giving the appearance of a spinal booty crack. NOT COOL.

It's GOT to go.

So, as I did last time I reached 151, I hit the Weight Watchers website.  No, I'm not really a go to the meetings kinda gal, but I do enjoy the point tracking and weight tracking features of the website. They've also got great recipes and inspirational stuff for when I need a little lifty poo.

A year and a half ago it took me three months-ish, to go from 151 down to 137 lbs, which I know is a bit extreme for my height (I'm 5' 8") and it was just too darned hard to stay below 140, so I happily floated along at 140-141 lbs for nearly a year. However toward the middle of 2009 I started seeing the numbers on the scale rise... well I was doing my internship and just let it go until one day in December when my side started hurting.

It's kinda weird but  I have like a fat roll pain or something in my side whenever I go over 150 pounds.  The only times I've had it are when I was prego with Miss Priss (I weighed 151 when I delivered her) and the two times I've been over 150. 

So I started counting points on my own right before Christmas which I'm sure saved me from going totally food crazy, and as soon as they had the free re-enrollement thingy a couple weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers online.

For some reason seeing the stuff on the screen makes it MUCH easier for me to follow the rules of healthy eating and excercise.  Of course last week I was kind of devilish (I blame the rum and gummy bears... just sayin') but whatever.  I've managed to kill three pounds and happily already my size tens are feeling more manageable.

Hopefully I'll find myself back at 140 by bikini season (and my 15 year wedding anniversary) so if you see me piling bags of gummy bears into my cart at the Kroger please give me the stink eye okay?  (Kroger brand gummy bears ROCK.)

And don't worry, I'll spare you the details of my weight watching... except when something really good happens, and then dangit, you'll just have to love me anyway. ;)

Have a GREAT weekend... fish fry at my house tonight!

Crazy eights...

... or should I say crazy EIGHTH GRADERS!  Oh my gosh... after subbing for my eighth graders at HMS today I am beat.  Ha!  If I'd have known that three out of the five teachers on our team would be absent today I may have bowed out.  Instead, I went in blindly expecting any other day.  Boy was I wrong! 

My note for the teacher went something like this...

"Dear Miss Byrd,

I've got good news and bad news.

The bad news is the kids had a crayon fight in the classroom today and _____  got written up for drawing gang signs on the floor of the cafeteria.

The good news is that they weren't your crayons.  They stole them from someone else.

Love,

Mrs. Danford"

Sigh...

After my second week of subbing I'm really looking forward to this long weekend.  hee hee  ;)

Hip hip hooray... it's spay and neuter day!

Okay, well the kittens may not being celebrating, but I'm glad to finally get it taken care of.  I hate... HATE taking them to the vet because I'm always worried about them being scared.

However, the little beasties seemed to be completely comfy in their carrier...

Heck, they even spent the night in it piled up in there together.  Too cute!