Jamie Danford

Confessions...

My friend's kiddo is doing a little confession diddy on Facebook, and it got me to thinkin' about some interesting things I could confess.  Of course, being the complete and total cherub that I am, I would NEVER have anything horrible to confess... nope, no bones fallin' out of my closet. 

Nope, I've never cheated on my taxes, never cheated on my husband, and never shoplifted. (That's good right?)

However, I can confess this:

1.) There's a smallish, but fairly disgusting pile of used Q-Tips and Crest Glide Plus dental floss on the table by my sofa.  I confess, I'm a compulsive flosser and ear cleaner.

2.) My favorite wine is Lucky Duck Cabernet Savignon... $3.97 a bottle from Walmart.  Sad, but true.

3.) I tell myself that the old dudes on the treadmills behind me are checkin' out my butt when I'm on the elliptical machine.  Give a girl a break here okay?  I've been workin' HARD on this booty, and if it takes a mental pep rally that involves seventy year old man libidos then dammit, that's what it takes.

4.) I derive great, but terribly guilty joy from my neighbor's dog stealing the dinner chicken off of her stovetop when she walked outside.  It makes me feel a little better about my own dinner thief who regularly skims chow from my own stovetop.

5.) I covet my daughter's figure... I'm sorry, but to be Twiggy thin and not have to lay down on the bed and suck in my gut to get into a pair of skinny jeans would be friggin' awesome. 

6.) I love unemployment.  (Don't tell Big Dave.) I love having time to keep the house clean, excercise the dogs, hell... excercise myself, read and write and hang out with my Mom.

7.) Unpolished toenails make me gag.

8.) I go to Jalapeno's, not for the fajitas or quesadillas, but for the fishbowl sized margaritas.  Hey, don't knock 'em until you try 'em.

9.) I want to snap the neck of one of Miss Priss' friends.  Honest... I try to 'rise above' the fray, but everytime she tells me more about this chick it makes me want to yank a knot in her.  Man, seventh grade girls are RIDICULOUS.

10.) My pomeranian made 'boom boom' on my decorative welcome mat today because she wouldn't go outside in the rain.  I confess that I blamed my cat for farting until I realized there was a fresh turd on the other side of the couch. 

So... this is where you report me to Google or Typepad or Facebook, right?

I love you, don't leave!!!

Please?

;)

;)

She's got the fever...

...and NO it ain't Bieber fever (thank God!) 

It's SOFTBALL FEVER!!!

This kid of mine has been bitten by the softball bug, and I think it's terminal.  I mean, she played for several years with the YMCA, but then last year in sixth grade she decided to sit it out and explore Children's Theater, which was lovely and all, but apparently not what she was thirstin' for.

So when SCPS had seventh grade softball sign ups, she went for it, and lucky for us, there were fewer girls trying out than there were spots on the team.  I guess soccer is the more popular sport at her school, leaving the softball team scraping up just enough players to keep it together. 

BUT... they scrounged up enough players, and in the process, we saw a ballplayer emerge.  This child of mine, who has evidently inherited her Daddy's softball OCD, has become completely focused and mildly obsessed with the sport... Big Dave's in hog Heaven!

 
They've played two games and have won them both in shut outs.  The team has pulled together like the Little Engine that could, and are gaining speed with every practice...

 

Today's game was so exciting, since we got to watch Miss Priss play right field and second base, and she got on base three times, scoring one run in the process...

 
 

Do I sound like an irritatingly proud mom?  OF COURSE I DO!!!

I can't help it.

Shoot me.

;)

Show and Tell!!!!

Lest we forget the original purpose and intention of this here bloggy, I have actually SCRAPBOOKED three layouts... SCANNED them in... and will now PRESENT them to you for your perusal and (hopefully) viewing pleasure.

 
I've gotta be honest, when I first bought this cute little ducky paper by Anna Griffin, I had NO idea what I would ever do with it.  But dangit, it was SO cute and had the matching green houndstooth and pastel polka dots to go with it.

Oh heck, I just put it in my basket and hung my head in disgust at my paper addiction. And then the paper sat on a shelf for what, like a year?  No... really? Yes.  (Oh scrappers, you totally know what I'm talkin' about here, don't you?) So needless to say, I was quite pleased that I had the opportunity to use it here on the layout about Miss Priss and her friend's babysitting service.  I threw some KI felt letters on it, added some cute ribbon and brads, and voila.

Next, we have a fun one that posed a bit of a paper dilemma...

 
See, I had this super cute Bobunny paper, but only one piece... the sunshine was on one side and the clouds on the other.  I wanted to use the sunny side because it seemed to fit with the pics of Miss Priss sliding down the pole (remember "Say Say My Playmate"... and the part about "slide down my rainbow"... well it could have been a ray of sunshine right?)  But I absolutely loved the cute cloud paper. 

The final verdict? Well you can see, I cut it into halves and used both sides. I think it's pretty cute, and journaling in the clouds was fun.

And finally we have this one...

 
I'm thinkin' it's Bobunny paper.  I pulled out the old acrylic stamps to make the journaling block, and because I printed our statistics out on white paper, I inked and outline them to make them coordinate.  All in all, I think it worked.

Now,  in case you don't have a redneck in or around your home who's strutting around with turkey call in hand, you may not realize that it is officially turkey season in Georgia.  This brings me GREAT joy, because not only does it mean that Big Dave is happy as a dog with thirteen peckers (huh?) but it also means LOTS of time spent far far away from Dhuland and in a hunting blind in the middle of a field or forest.  And do you know what that means?  LOTS of time for SCRAPPING!!!  I mean heck, there's no reason for me to be a productive contributing member of the family when he's not around right?  And heck, the kid can feed herself right?  And if I leave the backdoor open the dogs will go pee pee potty whether I'm there holding their paw or what, right? 

So hopefully this means I'll have more show and tell REAL soon. WOoHOO!!

(I love turkey season!)

And now we wait...

 
The peppers are in (Big Bertha Bells, regular green bells, hot bananas, and mammoth jalapenos)... as are the Dixie Hybrid and Prolific Straightneck squash, Poinsett 76 and Lemon cucumbers, plus a smattering of radishes, although I'm thinkin' I've waited too late, but I'm desperate for the oh-so-hot zippety zap of a crisp, crunchy red fireball of radishy goodness.

I've decided to keep things simpler this year and plant less varieties, but more of the chosen few.  And in my efforts to avoid the squash drama from the past, I'm experimenting with two new varieties... maybe just maybe I can beat the squishy squashies this year. 

Edith seems pretty excited about the whole thing... 

 

...Wait a minute... "EDITH, don't you even THINK about sneakin' out that door!"

Pesky chicken!

So... now we wait, water, wait...

 

savannahscrapbooking

The 'maters are IN!

It's official, the 'maters are IN THE BUCKETS.  Yep, the Dhuland Summer garden 2011, has begun.  Sure, we've had plenty of swiss chard...

 

...which happens to be GREAT for a midday garden nibble,

 

And the lettuce, peas and pomeranian are thriving...

 
 

But the tomatoes are always my fave.

And after nearly an hour in Home Depot picking just the right varieties, I came home with eight  'mater plants, four bell peppers, two jumbo jalepenos, seeds for two varieties of squash, two varieties of cukes, radishes and more. 

 
I spent the afternoon mixing manure, compost, soil and peat moss to make the very best homemade recipe of potting medium for my tomatoes...

 
And just for the record, I have to tell you this garden cart, by Step2 is honest to goodness, the BEST gardening tool I have EVER used. (Well, other than my stirrup hoe which truly is gardening GENIUS.)  This cart is so um... 'girl-friendly', I guess is the best way to put it.  I can pull it, push it, load it and mix potting soil in. I adore it.

Now, back to my precious tomatoes...  I decided to go with mostly heirloom varieties, rather than hybrids (thanks to the lessons I learned from Animal, Vegetable, Miracle) and ended up with some fun little friends like, Brandywine Pinks, Black Russian Prince, Better Boy, Celebrity and Grape (my old faithfuls) and the lemony Yellow Pear tomato. 

Everybody's in their freshly dressed buckets, the tomato cages are in position, and I am already counting on the tangy tart Summertime delish that will surely bedeck my kitchen windowsill in about eight weeks.  Mmmm... I can't wait!!

Ohhhhhh baby.... my green thumb is GLOWING!!!

;)

 

 

Floored...

...and by floored, I mean this...

 
And, no I haven't fallen and can't get up.  I am simply demonstrating the cleanliness and dog-pee-free-ness of my new kitchen floor!

 
Could this be one of the best days of my entire life?

Yes.

And if you've been subjected to my incessant whining about wanting a new floor, then it's a pretty darned good day for you too. 

Mmmhmmm...

So what's next on the four hundred eighty two thousand item long list of things to do around Dhuland, you ask?

1. Get the rest of the garden  planted (tomatoes, cukes, peppers, squash... because I'm a glutton for punishment, cantelopes, and beans.)

2. Start working on wearing down Big Dave to help me create a patio off of the back steps with some extra marble tiles and pea gravel we have out in the garage.

3. Till a twenty foot border bed around the backside of the house, and find cheap, deer-proof plants to fill it.

4. Work on the tan.

Should be fun, I'll keep ya posted.

;)

Whassup Wednesday!

I love the word Wednesday... I like to say it, "Wednezzday."  Of course, the day is nice too, I mean heck... it's hump day (gotta love that), and it's got both American Idol AND Survivor on t.v, and it's chapel day for my kiddo which means an easy homework night.

So whassup this Wednezzzzday?

Well...

 
Miss Priss' softball team had their first game yesterday (canNOT believe my baby is playing middle school sports) and they blew out the other team 17 to zip.  I'm pretty sure it had EVERYTHING to do with the fact that our pitcher is a rockstar (no lie, she's frickin' amazing... she's from Effingham County which I'm pretty sure is some Native American word for softball superstar, just sayin'... they breed 'em better up there.)  And our girls are some pretty stellar baserunners/stealers if I do say so myself.

Looks like I'll be feeding the gnats at least two evenings a week until the end of April.  But I'm thinkin' softball just wouldn't be softball without the little bastards.

Also in the loop for this wonderful Wednesday is the fact that I am ALMOST finished installing my NEW KITCHEN FLOORING!!!  And nope, I haven't taken a single photo, because I'm tooooo busy doin' the work.  It's just peel and stick vinyl squares because as much as I would LOVE something much nicer, I am trying to pinch every penny I can.  So, for $331.00 I bought enough flooring to cover my whole kitchen and bathroom... say goodbye to the 1964 doodie brown linoleum and teddy bear fur carpet! 

And in other news, my bff Guy is HOME from his latest adventures in Afghanistan, which is very happy news not only for his lovely little family, but for me... the temporary-sort-of-babysitter-playfriend.  Wanna see what I look like when I'm in my babysitting mode?

 
...NO NO, I wasn't really sleeping.  Me?  Sleep while a precious tot is in my care?  That's preposterous.  I was simply playing an evil stepmother who'd fallen under a spell because of a secret sleeping potion administered through many margaritas at the St. Patrick's Day parade. 

And speaking of the parade, did I show you my pics from that day?  My FB friends have seen them, but here's one of my faves...

 

And so my sweet friends, enjoy your hump day... I'm heading back to the kitchen floor.  (That sound you just heard was my bones creaking, moaning and begging for mercy.)

;)

 

 

Color me IMPRESSED...

Okay, it's a given that my friend Sid is a genius fabric artist.  So when I saw this...

 

...I was like, dangit she's done it again.  Cuteness, coolness and functionality (is that a word?) all in one creation.  Seriously?  It's got over 24 pockets, a change pocket, drivers license sleeve, a checkbook slot AND you can actually snap it shut when it's packed FULL. 

Does my rabid jealousy show?  I would KILL to have her talent. ~sigh~

Anyhoo, I pretty much salivated all over my keyboard, then I told her that I thought it was fabulous. And I guess because she loves me, and she knows that I am an insane Alabama fan, and she happened to have some BAMA fabric leftover from another project, and...

 

VOILA!!!

(I'm so happy I could pee a little.)

Looky how fat and juicy it is...

 
(It's like a gordita from Taco Bell or something.)
And seriously?  I gave it everything I had, and still didn't fill it up...

 
 
Sid... you rock my socks off...

 
Now, I'm here to tell ya that she can't sell you this frickin' awesome BAMA wallet (by the way it's called a Hold It All Shopper) because of licensing issues, but you can go to her Sid's In Stitches Etsy site and order the pattern and sew it yourself.  Or, perhaps you can contact her and beg her to sell you something similar.

Love ya Sid... thanks for spoiling me rotten. (The merlot's on me for the next few crops.)

;)

If minnows were butterflies...

Oh I canNOT tell you how GLORIOUS of a day we are having!  The temps are in the eighties, the wind's blowing steadily off the marsh, and the windchimes are playin' my tune.

I feel like we're fresh from our Winter cocoon.

Sure it's still March, I guess we could have another cold snap, but around Dhuland, we've already seen too many days in swimsuits and flip flops to seriously consider frost.  So, I'm applying the sunscreen and bugspray, keepin' the toesies well-groomed, and lovin' EVERY minute of it.

And we're not the only ones coming out of our snuggly winter dormancy... it's minnow time again.  Which means a couple of pretty reliable things:

1. Big Dave WILL be on the dock with beer and minnow net in hand.

2. I'll be right there alongside of him with beer and camera in hand.

And we've got a pretty cool addition to our minnow harvesting ritual this year...

 
Uh huh, that's right... little Miss Shady Lady has joined the party.  And of course this means... MORE dog photos! (You're ecstatic aren't you?)

 
Yep, that silly ol' girl decided that she didn't want to wait to see what was in the minnow basket... she just tromped right on out there and took a sniff. 

Of course, Ruby broke her in real good and made sure she understood that the best part of the process is when Daddy empties the basket because if you're a lucky pup, you might get a piece of bait to gnaw on (gag.)

 
And for you cat lovers out there, here's Scooter in his "Oh my god the dog is about to eat me alive" pose...

 
"Yes Scooter, the dog WILL eat you... remember last week when you weren't fast enough and she ended up with a mouthful of your fluffy ass fur?" 

(Needless to say, we haven't made a lot of progress on the dog/cat friendship front. )

 
"Hey Muffin, come on down here so I can crunch your little kitty bones like a minnow."

"Um, no big doggie, I don't think so."

Here's Scooter's 'I'm-pissed-off-and-plan-on-killing-the-dog-in-her-sleep' stalking pose...

 

Ah, good times.

Here, look at the moon...

 

So let's recap...

Spring, warm temps, flip flops, hangin' on the dock, catching minnows, pretty dog pics, dog/cat drama, the moon. 

If minnows were butterflies, we'd be up to our a-holes in mud, holding nets.

If minnows were butterflies, there'd be a whole bunch of tiny cocoons in the creek.

If minnows were butterflies, the blog post might actually make more sense.

Have a great weekend folks!