Jamie Danford

T.A.C.K

 
Hi, My name is Scooter, otherwise known as Big Mac or Handsome Pants (although my father often calls me Freak or Pain in the Ass.) 

I would like to talk to you today about a membership in a very exclusive society of felines... a group of pets who need a little more special attention from their owners.

We call it the 'Tick on the Ass Club for Kitties.'

Better known as, T.A.C.K

Do you enjoy frolicking in the forest? Stalking through fields? Climbing trees? Do you have a preference for lizards? Skinks? Small birds?

Do you have the embarrassing problem of ticks on your ass?

Then WE are the club for YOU.

 

Feel free to contact us at 1(800)ASS-TICK to apply for this exclusive offer.  Membership includes daily a-hole inspection and free a-hole tick removal. 

Don't let another day go by with ticks on your ass. Call now.

We'll be waiting. 

(Disclaimer from Jamie: I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER had a cat that suffered from ticks on the ass like Scooter.  And I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER pulled a tick off of a cats a-hole... until now.  WTH???  This big boy better be glad he's a handsome devil or I'd throw him in the creek... ass ticks and all.)

Okra blossoms and pissy chickens...

I had no idea how pretty an okra blossom could be...

 

Wow... kinda like a pansy eh.  SUPER cool.  And so far my foray into okra growing is going very well. I've got a bag full of the little suckers and will be frying it up for din din reeeeeeeal soon.

Thanks to a break in the drought, my little Dhuland garden is a happy place...

 
The birdbaths are overflowing,

 
...and my rain barrel is slowly but surely beginning to rise.

However, the temps have been crazy hot,

 

...which is REALLY pissing off Edith and Geraldine...

 

They're on strike at the moment... no egg laying in four days.  I'm about to call in the negotiator (a hatchet) if they don't come to their senses.

 
No no, Geraldine... I'm just kidding...really.

(You better lay me a damn egg.)

 

 

The Great Dhuland Triath~little...

You know that 'plateau' feeling that you get when you do the same excercise routine day in and day out?  Well, Mendy (my hottie neighbor) and I have been feeling a little like that... kinda flatlined in the work out department.

So we devised a masterful plan (over cocktails) Friday night... a mash up of body taxing excercises... a triathlon.  Except smaller.  Much smaller.

A triath~little.

Once again... my famous last words... It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But lordy, it almost killed me.

It went something like this... I got up at 8am Saturday morning, shoved half a peanut butter slathered bagel down my gullet, laced up my shoesies, and holstered the twins in my heavy duty running bra.  I sauntered over to Mendy's and begged her to say we didn't have to do it.

She did not.

So, we mounted our trusty steeds and headed off for a 5.5 mile bike ride.

 
It sucked.

After thirty minutes of seriously considering vomiting on my handlebars (remember, this idea was hatched over cocktails the night before right?) we made it back home and dismounted on jelly legs.

Unfortunately, those jelly legs then had to carry me for a thirty minute run/walk.  Eeek. 

 
Mendy dusted me (of course) but I managed to wobble my way through the 2.5 mile course.

I thought I was gonna die.

But I didn't.

Which was kinda disappointing, because I still had another thirty minutes of swimming to complete.

 
I Michael Phelps'ed it for approximately 1/3 of a mile in that thirty minute torture session.  And I'm here to tell you that it sure felt like it was at least a half a mile... or maybe twenty.  That was a workout for sure.

And I survived! Whoop dee hooooo~~ 

It took an hour and a half, but we covered over 8 miles.  Phew! 

That was good stuff. 

Sort of.

I think.

(I may have nightmares.)

;) 

 

 

Summer lovin'...

I got Big Dave to snap a pic of me basking in the pool last weekend.

But when I saw it, I immediately erased it.  There were entirely too many chins involved.  Not to mention forehead wrinkles and unnecessary cleavage. 

It was bad.

So, you'll just have to imagine me lounging like a water snake, in a pink striped pool float.  That's pretty much my main goal this summer. 

What can I say?  I am a heat lovin, sun worshipping, summer soakin fool.

And in honor of this worthy goal, me thinks, on this fourth day of summer, that I will share my intention to do my absolute best to fulfill some other personal goals.

Like...

1. Read as many books as possible. (Just finished The Help... SOO good, thank you Debbie and friends for the recommendation!)

2. Do my best to get a Magda tan.

 

3. Enjoy time with my kiddo... watching movies, planning our home school curriculum, having girl time at the mall (ok... this part isn't my thing, but still.)

4. Try to keep my garden from spontaneously combusting in this crazy Savannah heat.

5. Carve out some scrapbook time (this is a MUST because photos are starting to pile up.)

6. Make it up to Splash in the Boro with the urchin and her friends at least once.  This is gonna have to wait until after our Tybee time vaca over July 4th.

7. Get my s#it together for teaching 4-6 grade Latin class at our home school co-op.   (Can't wait for this to start!!)

8. Force my mother in law to get her buns to Savannah so we can drink pina coladas and henpeck her son.

9. Continue the battle against the masses of dog hair tumbweeds blowing through my house.  Who knew this...

 
...combined with this...

 

...could create such a perfect storm of swirling fur.  Ugh.

10. Train, train, train... I think I've been talked into walk/running the the Savannah Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon in November. 

 
I'm pretty sure this is just another piece of evidence to further the case that I have officially LOST MY MIND.  But I enjoy having a goal because it keeps me motivated to move my arse.  I'm sure it'll take me at least three and a half hours to complete, and I'll probably cry at some point, but what the heck. 

Hmmm... I think that about does it for my goals.  Not bad right?  I've got some sorry ones, some worthy ones and some crazy ones.  I'd say it's a well-rounded list. ;)

What do you want to do with your summer?

My man...

...is gonna be OTAY.  ;)

After his fluttering heart stuff last month, which included a lovely trip to the ER and a prescription for blood pressure meds, Big Dave made some major changes, and it looks like his new life strategy is working!

We went to see his cardiologist (Dr. Elizalde) today.  And the doctor was pretty impressed that the itty bitty low dosage of Toprol that the ER doc had prescribed is working so well.  In fact, Big Dave's blood pressure is PERFECT.  Yay!!

My precious Boonkie quit using smokeless tobacco (dip) about a month ago  (after the trip to the ER) and switched to tobacco-free dip. Then he dropped a few pounds, and he's been doing pretty good about pushing back from the table when he's full (instead of eating 'til he's about to explode). 

And because of these changes, Dr. Elizalde halved Big Dave's prescription and plans to have him off of it by August... thank the Lord. 

You know, when we said our wedding vows sixteen years ago, "In sickness and in health," I really never thought about it.  But now that we're actually facing the realities of 'growing old together,' I realize how important those vows actually are.  I love my boy, and I've got to make sure I take good care of him... goodness knows what I'd do without him. 

I love a good visit to the doctor, don't you?  ;)

Wow, whatta weekend!!

Whew... we had a weekend FULL of kicks and giggles.  It started with Miss Priss' end of season tourney on Friday night...

 
And our girls took home a big juicy second place trophy!   It was such a great game and a stellar ending to a season of growth and improvement. 

My kiddo rocked third base, throwing a couple of people out at  first...

 
She gave it her all...

 
And made us SO proud.  (I think she made herself kinda proud too.)

 
It was awesome.

Then the awesomeness continued Saturday with Big Dave's victory at a big horseshoe tournament on Wilmington Island.  He and his partner Travis threw their way through thirty teams to take first place.  It was a fundraiser for a couple of kiddos, so Big Dave and Travis decided to donate their winnings ($450) back to the people having the event.  Then, to top it off Big Dave won the door prize, which he split with his partner, so they didn't come home empty handed.  Not too shabby for a Saturday afternoon~

And while he was slinging shoes, I was celebrating Kristine's stepson's high school graduation.  Yay Joey!  I ate waaaay too much, and pretty much wanted to wrap myself in Lisa's buffalo chicken dip.  Oh baby. 

Then of course Sunday was Father's Day, and we spent the whole day with our favorite dad.  We spoiled Big Dave as much as we could, and made him a happy boy by paying his 2011-2012 hunting club dues... which is kinda good for me too, because that means puh~lenty of dude time in the forest, and loads of chick time in the scrapbook room.  Uh huh... you feelin' me?

So see?  It's been a gooooooooood weekend. 

Now, me thinks it's a float in the pool kind of Monday...

 

Where'ditgo?

?

I could have sworn I published a bloggy featuring Miss Priss and her vastly improved pitching efforts.  No?

Well crap.  I can't remember what I supposedly wrote, but I'm sure it was full of wit, goodness and joy. 

Anyhoo, I wanted to show you my kiddo in action on the mound, so let's have a looky...

 
Here she is in all her long armed glory.  Pretty ferocious looking eh? 

(I love the kid playing second base behind her... she looks like she's got better things to do doesn't she? "Hmmm, I need to call Susie and tell her that Bobby said he thought her hair was pretty, and I need to get my toenails painted because I'm pretty sure this polish is two weeks old, and I need to find my Ipod because mama's gonna kill me if she finds out I tried to tape it to the dog...")

Sorry, I digress.

Miss Priss pitched a shut out last Saturday (which wasn't really that hard because they were playing a younger team with less experience) and the Inferno won 12 to zip. 

 
Yep, this girl's pitching is getting stronger and me thinks she's got her sights on being a superstar. ;)

 

And heck, why not?  I mean, she's got Big Dave by her side...

 

And her fans in the stands...

 

Go baby go! 

Late Spring Windowsill...

 
It's a colorful affair isn't it?

After today's shirttail harvest...

 
...the sill is FULL.  Looks like it's gonna be a salad kinda din din night. 

Now, if only my DAMNED cucumbers would get with the program, take a hint, buck up and take one for the team, and make some babies.  They are, no lie, the bane of my gardening existence. (Along with the dreaded invasion of squash vine borers that have now declared themselves permanent residents in Dhuland.)

Growl...

Quick, somebody change the subject.

I know, let's turn our attention back to happy goodness instead of impotent curcubits and starving larvae. Yes, let me show you my absolute 100% no lie favorite flower in the whole wide world...

 
Hello there my buxom beauty... if I could wrap my yard in nothing but canna lilies, I'd be a happy woman. I've always loved them... seriously, they are my faves, but dangit they're some 'spensive additions to the garden.  So I can only plant them when I get hand-me-downs.  Which means that when my neighbor asked if I wanted a handful of babies I danced like an elf and quickly tucked them into the soil before he could change his mind.  And now they're flashing their dazzling smiles at me every time I walk by. 

I blow them kisses. 

I'm a dork.

And I've forgotten all about my non-existent cukes. 

And the bugs.

And I think I want some salad.

Without cukes.

I'm not bitter.

 

GRAND SLAM...

Okay... this is where you've just got to roll your eyes and let me be a proud mama.  I can't help it.  I'll just bust if you don't let me do this.

See, my kiddo... the esteemed Miss Priss, did us proud last night. She hit a grand slam homerun off of the best pitcher in her softball league. 

 
Uh huh. This little pea rocketed the ball over the outfielder's heads into left field to clear the bases. 

 
There's her daddy in the background coaching third.  The best part about it was that he'd just given her the bunt signal.  Um, I don't think she saw it.  Ha!

Unfortunately, even though the umpires on the field were calling it a homerun, the dude who runs the show at Ambuc said that because the ball went all the way into the other playing field it would have to be called a dead ball, and they made her go back to second, but regardless of what the book says, that was a frickin' bomb!  Even the coach on the other team said it should have been recorded as a grand slam, but alas... that's ball for ya. 

 

Needless to say, Big Dave was a tiny bit overjoyed.  Oh you should've seen him when the other dads were giving him high fives out on the parking lot. Complete strangers were congratulating him and telling Miss Priss how awesome her hit was. No daddy could be happier, and of course the kiddo was floating in the clouds.

 Our pitcher was also on fire and our first baseman was catching everything that came her way which allowed the Inferno to pull out a win over the only undefeated team in the league.  This is gonna make the end of season tourney REALLY tense.  Boy, I'm gonna hate for it all to end, but my nerves could probably use a break, lol. 

Way to go baby girls, y'all rocked my world! ;)

Garden update...

Oh yeah baby, the Dhuland garden is really starting to show its colors this week.  Yesterday I brought in a beautiful assortment of tomatoes, peppers and (yay) my very first okra. 

 
My okra plants have a lot more baby veggies on them, hopefully I'll have enough to toss into some gumbo in the next few days.  The jalepenos and hot banana peppers are rockin' my world, and they are an absolute necessity in my summer salads.

We're seeing some baby cukies (finally) and the squash are covered in male blooms which means the females aren't too far behind.  Hopefully these 90+ temperatures aren't going to fry them before I get a chance to. 

I think the only let down I've had so far is the Russian Prince Black tomatoes... they're nice and pretty with their dark purply coloring, but they're kinda squishy.  Don't get me wrong, I'll still eat 'em, but I don't think I'll plant them again next year. 

All in all, it's a good time to be a veggie lover... yUmmy!