Jamie Danford

End of the quarter... how 'bout those resolutions?

To be honest, at this point I can only remember two of my New Year's resolutions. Perhaps it's time to look back at my blog post for a refresher.  Give me just one sec...

OOoooh, okay... got 'em.  (Thank goodness I was sober enough to only set three goals. Phew!)

#1 was to complete two half marathons, the Tybee and the Rock n Roll.  Can't check this one off until November (when the party that is the Rock n Roll marathon series comes back to Savannah) but at least I can give myself a half of a check because I finished the Tybee back in February.  Gimpy calf and all...

Cool.

#2 on my list is to finish the novel that I've been rambling on about for oh about the last THREE FREAKIN' YEARS.  Honestly, the story is in my head, half of the words are saved on two different flash drives and emailed to myself for safe keeping, but I still can't make myself sit down on a regular basis and finish this sonofabitch.  Grrrr.  So I guess, I need to give myself something significantly less than a check mark for this resolution... perhaps a frowny face. 

And #3 was to carry myself by walking, running or biking across 1000 miles by the end of the year.  I've added swimming and climbing the stadium stairs to this list, because although they don't add up to much mileage, they are HUGE boosts in the crosstraining department.  

In order to reach my 1000 mile goal, I need to scrape together 83.333333 miles of movement per month, and so far I've exceeded it each month, yay!

I've got 95.2 under my belt for this month, and I'll add a couple more  tomorrow as I huff, puff and threaten to puke my way through the stadium workout.  So, I'd say I get a quarter of a checkmark for this resolution, which of course means 100% since it's the end of the quarter. (Wow, lookit me doin' math and stuff.)

How about you?  Are you doin' cool stuff that you're proud of?  Got any goals that keep eluding you (ie, the great American novel?)   

Calendar Check...

Hey, wait a minute...

How the heck did my/our family calendar get so freakin' full???  I mean, I thought I was the person who NEVER planned ANYTHING because I'm pretty much a big ol' hermit, and would prefer my family join me in my own personal hermit movement. 

Instead, as I appraise our schedule for the next few months, I'm thinkin' whoa... who's dis?

It's goin' a bit like this:

~This weekend, Big Dave hit's the turkey trail, gunnin' for gobblers.

~Miss Priss starts track (in the next two weeks, depending on how fast her Osgood Schlatter Disease... uh, crappy knee, heels.)

~April 14th, the Big Nasty Mud Run, where our team, 'Slippery When Wet' will fight to stay alive through 4.5 miles and 21 obstacles...ha ha!

~April 28th, Crop for the Cure... Kristine and I are heading to Raleigh, NC to play with one of our dearest friend's Sandi at her crop for breast cancer awareness. ROAD TRIP!!!

~May 6th, my SEVENTEEN year wedding anniversary.  Whoop whoop!

~May 11th  is baby girl's Spring Dance... uh oh, it's a 70's theme.  eek!

 

 

 

~The weekend of May 18th, TYBEE TIME with my scrappin' buds.  Three nights of scrapbooking and playing at the Beach Bum parade. YAY!

~End of school... heck yes, the end of May equals the end of homework, books, and dirty looks. (However the rhyme goes.)  BRING ON SUMMER VACATION!!

~June brings Miss Priss' trip to New York City and the One Direction concert in Atlanta (God help me.)

~July will be filled with our trip to Tybee and Miss Priss' first mission trip with her church youth group...very cool.

~ August has a trip to Universal Studios with the youth group and the HOLY CRAPness which is my baby child's entry into HIGH SCHOOL at SCPS.  (Deep breaths, right?)

~And of course September hosts my FORTIETH birthday. WOW.  BRING IT ON! 

And just like that, SIX months will fly by.  It's crazy how fast this stuff will happen, and I can't wait to share it all with you.  Are you ready?

I'm buckling my seatbelt... it may be a wild ride!

Dirty Girls... (It's a mud run, get your mind outta the gutter!)

Oh my GOSH!!!!!  We  had the MOST fun this morning! 

Kristine, Tricia and I sloshed, laughed and squealed through our first 'mud run'... the Yemassee SC, Filthy 5K.  It was 3.1 miles of tranquil forests punctuated with belly crawling through mud pits, climbing mud hills (and sliding down on our ass... not on purpose), scooting through tires, and of course the imfamous, MUD PIT...

We did our homework and came prepared because we'd heard that the mud is not only slippery as a eel's hiney, but also has the tendency to suck the shoes off of your feet.  So we wrapped our tootsies in duct tape...

And who doesn't love them some hot pink duct tape right?

It was a smallish event, less than a hundred folks participated, but the group was filled with kind, happy people and the coordinators were patient and accomodating.  Apparently this place is usually a mud bog and playground for pick up trucks and atv's like on the Travel Channel's 'Mud People'.  But today it was all about the two legged boggers, no truckies allowed.

Okay, so we came in next to last, but we looked good and had fun, and dangit that's all that mattered today.

(Before the run, the rain and the mud)

(Obligatory "Hey look at us, we think we're tough" photos.)

We started the run just as the clouds let loose and the rain poured down, of course... it seems to be the norm for me these days, running in the rain.  We slipped through the woods until we hit the first obstacle, a pit full of muddy water where we had to crawl under low ropes.  Hilarious!  It's SO freakin' unnatural to throw yourself into a mud pit... especially a cold mud pit.  I just followed Trish and Kristine's asses through it, laughing all the way.

The event coordinators took pics so hopefully I'll be able to get some of them off of their Facebook page eventually. Until then, you'll just have to imagine us in our pink and black suits, wallowing in the mud.  I still crack up every time I think of Kristine as she charged up a slippery hill that totally looked like it would just be sandy, but ended up being clay-like, and BUSTING her patooty as she went down the other side. Omg, I laughed!  And then Tricia followed her and landed right behind her... bwaahahaaaa!! It was like a scene from Goonies.  I stayed behind and took pics and then shimmied down the side where the leaves kept it a little drier. 

Oh and don't even get me started giggling about us trying to make it through the 200 foot long mud pit at the end of the race.  Ahhaaahaaa... it was SO funny!  I'd try to put one foot in font of the other, but then the muck would suck me down, and I'd lose my balance, collapsing into the water up to my waist, finally ending up in it neck deep.  There's nothing better than my memory of Trish up to her earlobes in the caramel colored water...and my prissy Kristine, dragging herself through that ooze... oh it's too much!  I LOVED every minute of it!  (With the one exception of the six foot wall we had to climb... getting up was a cinch, but jumping down scared me.  Eeeek!) 

(After the run, the rain and the mud...not much difference from afar.)

 And only one injury...

The wall bit Tricia, but she was a big girl and didn't cry.  Hey, now she's got a battle wound.  Go Tricia!

I'm gonna have muddy dreams when I go to sleep tonight for sure!  I can't wait to do another one of these mud runs, oh it was hilarious, and I think I've got Kristine talked into doing the Big Nasty Mud Run in Pooler next month.  It's only a few weeks away, so I guess we'll have to see.  It looks a LOT harder than today's run, but I think it'd be a cool challenge.  Anyone else wanna get muddy? 

 

 

Happy stuff.. Garden, Goaties, Golf Carts, OH MY!

Welcome to the Thursday edition of HAPPINESS.

The following bits of joy rock my world, and make me one of the luckiest little chicas on the planet.

~The Dhuland garden...

...things are starting to take shape.  I planted German Queens, Celebrities, Goliaths, Pink Brandywines and, my very very favorite Burpee Grapes.  A lovely mixture of heirloom and hybrid tomato plants...should be fun!

I still have plenty to put in the ground, but at least I've got the  most important ('maters) planted.

In addition to the happiness that my garden brings me, I've got to show you this...

OMG... BABY GOATS!!!

After the introduction of a studly male goat named Sherman, our Dhuland neighbors experienced a bumper crop of baby goaties.  And good gosh are they the cutest little babies in the world or what????  They frolick around, jumping and skit scatting with each other like kittens...ooooh, I love these babies!

And of course, we can't enjoy Spring's warmth and fabulousity without some buggy ridin' through the 'hood...

Good stuff, I tell ya.  Good stuff. 

 

Azalea lovin'...

Now twenty years ago, this title may have alluded to a torrid tale of nudeness in the bushes, but these days it simply means what it says...

I mean heck, who wouldn't want to come home to this? 

The plum trees, pear trees and dogwoods are rockin' the show right now.

Spring came early to Dhuland for sure!   Unfortunately, the azaleas... my faves...

... are starting to wilt. Sigh, our beauties just can't handle the crazy heat. 

Luckily, I managed to snag a quicky of my own little beauty, before the heat could wilt her...

Oh yesssss, mama loves her some SPRING!! ;)

How to run for an hour and forty minutes without getting bored to pieces...

About a year and a half ago I sat on the screened porch of my friends' house talking to this dude named Ron.  He'd run like twenty miles or something ridiculous that morning and as we enjoyed the beer we'd pilfered from our friends' fridge, I asked him how he did it. 

At that point, I'd never run more than a mile in my life, and I thought it was absolutely INSANE to consider running through the streets for anything longer than oh... say like a minute and a half.  He told me he listened to the radio (I think he even said talk radio, but don't quote me on it) and the minutes and miles just ticked by. 

INSANE.

He was clearly insane.

Oh but wait a minute.  I guess that makes me insane now too doesn't it?  Hmmm... we kind of already knew that though right?

So tonight while I gasped and grunted my way through 8.5 miles... an hour and forty minutes, I tried to think of some of the ways I keep myself from getting bored. 

Of course, the first of these thoughts was something like, "Hey I can get Miss Priss to take a pic of me running up the driveway where the rockin' ass azaleas are blooming so I can put it in the post..."

LOOK at those azaleas.  AWESOME. (Those are not my dogs.)

A lot of my running time is spent thinking of stuff to blog about, or stupid/witty/ entertaining Facebook updates like, "I'm making my way through 'The Hunger Games' one turd at a time." Is it inappropriate to say turd on Facebook?  I think we're not supposed to talk about pooping on there.  Everytime I do, somebody gets all offended about the doody talkin' and says, "TMI."  And then I feel guilty, so I try not to post alot about it.  But I think about it alot when I'm running.  Especially when I ate Japanese food for dinner the night before.

I also pray a lot.  Sometimes it's stuff like, "Dear Lord Jesus, please don't let me pass out and die right here in the street, because I'm feelin' like I might pass out and die right here in the street."  And other times it's, "Holy God THANK YOU for letting me be able to do this, because I know I'm gonna feel like I conquered the world when I get home." 

When I'm on a roll with my never ending novel, I like to think up plot lines and scenarios for my characters, Rosie, Daylon, Gina, Ellen and Nanny.  I've had some serious lightbulb moments out there on the road, in fact my main character had a name change somewhere out there during one of those many miles.  Oh and it's so funny, but of course I can't tell you because it's a big secret, but if I ever finish it, you'll have to buy it immediately so I can be rich and go on Oprah, even if she is on her own weird channel that I don't understand or know how to find.

Of course I always have my trusty Ipod to jam out to the whole time.  I have the strongest memories from music that I've listened to.  I can tell you exactly where I was or who I was with or what I was doing while listening to so many of the songs on my playlist.  Like the time I was sitting in the old scrapbook store on Mall Boulevard creating a display page titled 'Country Road Take Me Home' while listening to Montgomery Gentry's "Our Town"... or the time I did naughty stuff as a teenager while listening to Prince, the Scorpians or Whitesnake.  And I can't listen to Whitney Houston's "How Will I know" without being transported right back to my middle school days snacking on orange soda, sugar babies and vinegar and salt potato chips that we bought from the fish camp down the road.  And don't even get me started on the butterflies that still, to this day, flutter in my stomach when I hear "Around the Way Girl" by LL Cool J, or Roxette's "She's Got the Look" because they take me back to my first nights spent dancing and 'getting to know' Big Dave.   These songs pack my head with scenes that play out in technicolor detail like  movies, carrying me along the streets of my 'hood.

And when all this fails and I find myself falling into a running rut, I try to mix things up by hitting a new route (like Rails to Trails or Tribble park) and I also like running with my friends.  Of course, this means that I have to continuously talk about how FABULOUS running is, so I can talk my friends into trying it and then coerce, bully and peer pressure them into doing things like signing up for the Yemassee Filthy 5K mud run... hee hee.  Just ask Kristine since she'll be doing this with Tricia, Miss Priss and me this coming Saturday.  Mwahahahaaaa.  I can't wait!!

On a totally self-centric note, I am posting this photo even though I have absolutely NO idea of what I'm doing, because it makes me look skinny.

(And that is not my kid.)
The end.

 

 

 

I need to brag...

I've gotta do it. 

I've gotta spend a few minutes bragging about my BFF, the illustrious Kristine, aka, Teeny. 

See, several months ago (September maybe?)  She was exasperated.  Her scale was whispering evil things to her, and she'd hit an all time high.  It was time for a change, so she asked me if I had any ideas to help her peel off some pounds. 

My answer was simple... RUN.

If there's one thing I figured out in the last year as I've experimented with this fitness stuff, it's that moving my body (torturous as it may seem) is the ticket to losing flab and feeling awesome.

Kristine was full of questions, like:

How do I start?  Do I walk first?  What if I can't run?  (She was an athlete way back in the stone age when she was a teenager, but even then she hated running.) 

I told her about my walk/run strategy, and she bravely unearthed the treadmill that had been folded up in a corner of their living room for the past three years and gave it a go. 

After making the decision to move her arms and legs, my sweet friend had to conquer something that I too feared... looking stupid. Let's face, we've all seen someone jogging along the side of the road who kind of looks like they're either flailing through a storm surge or suffering from a major gas attack, and we chuckle a little and think, "poor struggling dumbass."  Well, the same holds true for Kristine on the treadmill... she had to get over the fact that her family could see her sweating, panting and yes, flailing, on the treadmill while she watched episodes of Grey's Anatomy and CSI. 

And then once she finally got brave enough to venture into the great outdoors, she had to overcome her fear of looking like a dumbass in front of the whole world (or at least her neighborhood.)  But she DID IT.  She got it in her head, that no matter what she looked like, she still looked better than the old gas bag sitting on the couch watching reruns of America's Next Top Model.  And she was RIGHT.

And so she progressed.  Over the last six months she's challenged herself to overcome obstacles like oh I don't know... say a full time job which keeps her at the office until 7pm or later some nights, or the fact that she has FOUR sons to keep up with doctor appointments, wrestling matches, work schedules and homework assignments.  No matter what, at least a few times a week, no matter how late at night it is, she manages to lace up her sneakers and hit the treadmill for a couple of miles or more. 

She's kind of a badass if you ask me.

Now, fast forward to this past Friday... the March of Dimes, Shamrock 5K in downtown Savannah.  I'd planned to run the race with my friend Trish, but asked Kristine if she wanted to join us.  Of course she said yes, because she's generally game to try just about anything (um... did I mention that I'm trying to get her to sign up for the Yemmassee Filthy 5K Mud Run in two weeks?) 

She really wanted to beat her time in the Wounded Warrior 5K we did back in October, so she trained really hard.  She's kind of competitive that way, ya know.

And so as we suited up in our glorious (albeit dorky) tutu's for the Shamrock run, she was prepared... even if she didn't really know it.

We'd talked about staying together, but I knew she wanted to see if she'd really improved since the last race, so I told her to run her own race, which meant leaving us in her dust.  And that she did, baby!

That starter's horn blew, and I never saw her again until the finish.  My bestie flew like the wind!  She went into the race thinking she'd run/walk in two minute intervals, but post race she said that she just kind of ran as far as she could then walked and then ran again.  Two of her coworkers (dudes) ran the race and gave her some stiff competition, but she ended up besting one of them. (Sorry Randy!! hehee!)

And will she kill me for this pic?  Oh probably...

...but I wanted to include it because this is the face and body of all out DETERMINATION.  I love this!  (It rained on us the whole time, so that's not actually sweat glistening on her skin, it's good ol' coastal acid rain.)

Kristine finished the Shamrock 5k, her second race ever, in 35:26...three minutes faster than her last 5K.   BOOMYAH! 

I'm a little proud of her.

Can you tell?

Hmmm... in short I guess we could sum this up as, "Overworked, overwrought, mom of four tries something completely out of her comfort zone and in the process, drops a couple of dress sizes and ROCKS a 5k."

Yep, that should do it.

Love you Teeny!!!

 

 

 

 

Blog? Me? I've got excuses! Honest!

Hey looky who it is... Jamie, the long lost blogger! How the heck did so many days pass by without me rattling on about something or other?

I think I'll blame it on work.  This job thing is kind of a groove killer if you ask me.  Love me some work, and some paychecks, and someone other than my pomeranian to talk to during the day, but dangit if it doesn't cut down on my personal blogging time.  Hmph.

And I guess I can also blame it on the fact that I was consumed with my baby girl's FOURTEENTH birthday.  Whoaaaaa Nelly.  Fourteen?  Yep.  Fourteen.  I love it.  Seriously, every single day that we get further away from all that cryin' baby, diaper stuff, the better if you ask me.  I spent WAY too many moments from the time she was um, born, until the time she could go potty, feed, bathe and entertain herself, fretting over the all consuming knowledge that I had to clean her, feed her and entertain her.  Not an easy row to hoe when you're a self-centered brat like myself.  I mean heck, Big Dave's been feeding, cleaning and entertaining ME since I was nineteen. 

So fourteen is EXCELLENT, if for nothing else than for the simple fact that my child can wipe her own precious little size 1 bottom.  Bring on the teen drama (which makes me SO frustrated, because these teenage girls can be SUCH assholes sometimes) and bring on the eight hundred and forty two trips to the mall, youth group, friends' houses, the movie theater and the fro yo shop.  And bring on the boys that send dirty texts (I fear Big Dave may amputate someone's penis before my child turns eighteen, if someone 'sexts' her) and bring on the padded bras, flat irons, mascara, fear of embarrassment, skin tight jeans, wart removal, Instagram (wth?), rollercoaster grades, softball games, ghecko neglect (yes, I am now Jeff Jeff's official mommy b/c the teen in my house kept forgetting to feed him his worms...gag)  and pimples... God knows we can NOT forget pimples. 

I love teenagers! (No, seriously... I do.)

To celebrate, we took her to dinner at her (and my) fave restaurant, Bellas...yummmm.  She got an I-pad, a new comforter to go with her bedroom makeover, (which is why I will be covered in blue paint tomorrow) and a handful of gift cards.  Not bad.  And even though it's not really a birthday present, she's heading to Universal Studios with her friend for a couple of days over Spring Break... which would be now... which would be why I'm painting tomorrow.

 I'd say she's a happy chicky.

And when this babe of mine is happy (and clean and fed and entertained) then I am happy.  And ain't that what it's all about?

(Taken last night before our Shamrock 5K... sigh, love this girl.)

 

Adventures in Masochism: The Stadium Edition...

Last night I asked myself, "Hmmm... what's something fun that I can do tomorrow?"

Bowling?

Shopping?

Manicure?

Oh but none of these were right.  Nope, none was nearly painful and torturous enough.  So after a couple of glasses of pinot grigio, Mendy and I decided that we'd join her hubby at his weekly stadium workout. 

We've been wanting to try the workout, but didn't want to injure ourselves before the Tybee race. However since we have no major goals set for the near future, we figured it made sense to try it today. 

So I peeled out of my sheets at 6:30 this morning and poured myself into the backseat of their car.  We rolled up to the stadium, met the other masochists, coated ourselves in bug spray (friggin' gnats) and did some stretching.  I sized up the stairs and bleachers and resigned myself to the fact that I was about to get my ass kicked. 

Intimidating?

Maybe just a teeeeeeny tiny little bit.

The leader of this band of fitness nuts gave the signal, and we began our 'warm up'... Five up and downs on the stairs, followed by five up and downs on the bleachers.  I counted 80 steps to the top.  Warm up?  Oh crap.

I couldn't do all of the bleacher reps so I stuck to the stairs for the most part, which by the way, happen to steepen considerably after the halfway mark.  The warm up was followed by another two hours of assorted stair and bleacher related excercises, including running up and down the winding ramps that lead from the upper level to the lower... called the Cyclone.  {eek!}

Oh, and between the stair reps we did 100 yard sprints on the football field... nearly a mile and half's worth of them.  And guess who SUCKS at sprints?  Um... me.   The rest of the pack would be finished, bent over and breathing hard in the endzone as I came gimpy limping up behind them.  Hilarous. 

By the time the dew had evaporated and Mr. Sunshine was making his way overhead, we were done.  We'd covered nearly four miles in two hours, which sure seems like a long time to finish that amount of distance, but not when you're talkin' about stair climbing.  Phew!  That was some full on craziness. 

And I CAN'T wait to do it again!!

Now, tomorrow when I can't pick myself up off the toilet seat, I may have a different opinion.  But I have a feeling I'll be back at that stadium real soon.

Does that make me crazy?

Maybe just a little.

;)